Jessica
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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: yo
You: You are in a room with only a wooden chair. There is a locked door and a drop ceiling. What do you do?
Stranger: what the hell is a drop ceiling?
You: The ones you normally find in a classroom where you can move the light board tiles to expose wires.
Stranger: ooooh
Stranger: well in that case, you could stand on the chair, assuming you're tall enough and try to see if you could climb into the ceiling
You: You climbed into the ceiling and the whole ceiling mechanism collapses with the wire grid and board tiles scattered all over the floor. What do you do next?
Stranger: Are there windows?
You: No windows, just a locked door, a wooden chair and a pile of ceiling on the floor.
Stranger: How old is the building?
You: Irrelevant.
Stranger: Judging by how old the building is, and assuming you have enough physical strength, you could smash the chair into the door and hope you can break through.
You: You try smashing the chair through the door. Two of the legs on the chair break. You learn the door is made out of steel.
Stranger: Damn.
Stranger: Are there any other items/furniture in the room?
You: That is for you to find out,
Stranger: How do I find out?
You: That is where your imagination come into play.
You: Think. If you have a mess on the floor what should you do?
Stranger: Sift through it and see if there's anything useful.
You: You rummage through the ceiling tiles and you find a matchbook with only one match in it, and a bottle of mouthwash with enough left for one more gargle.
Stranger: ....hm....
Stranger: Well, the mouthwash can be lit, yes?
You: You only have one more hint left, would you like to use that now?
Stranger: No.
Stranger: Does the door have any knobs?
You: There is a sort of knob. It just shows a keyhole.
Stranger: I'll use my second hint.
You: All the objects in the room can be burned and alcohol helps things burn faster.
Stranger: Well, yeah, I knew that already, but if I burn things now, I'm just going to asphyxiate to death.
You: Unless......!
Stranger: Okay, what if I try to weaken the door by first dousing a piece of tile with the mouthwash, light it with the match, and then strengthen the fire with the rest of the tiles and then the chair?
You: You pour mouthwash on a ceiling tile and strike your only match praying it will catch fire. Gracefully it does and then you slowly pile on the rest of the tiles and finally the wooden chair. You notice that the smoke is being sucked out through the door and around the edges of the door. You wait patiently as the fire roars and slowly burns out. You are left with a pile of ash after a few hours.
Stranger: What happens if I kick the door?
You: You kick the steel door and shatter your metatarsus and femur. You roll around on the floor in pain screaming your lungs out! Eventually the pain dulls away because you are in shock.
Stranger: I'm dead, aren't I?
You: You lay near the ashes, feeling like all hope is lost.
Stranger: Wait, my metatarsus and femur? That doesn't make sense medically at all.
You: Being in this room doesn't make sense either but I didn't question it!
Stranger: Hahaha, touche.
Stranger: Let's see...well, the fire might've weakened the flooring. What if I try to make a hole in the floor?
You: You try punching a hole into the floor but you shatter your phalanges against the cement floor. It must be the excruciating pain from earlier that made you think you had super strength to punch through a cement floor. Again you holler, scream, etc, etc, and then go back into shock.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: My poor phalanges.
You: Good thing you only used one hand.
You: Comeon! You are almost there!
Stranger: ...
You: What is left in the room?
Stranger: Nothing?...I used the chair and ceiling tiles, match, and mouthwash.
Stranger: I'm assuming I have an empty bottle of mouthwash.
You: Alright, you didn't burn that, so then I suppose you do.
You: You are not paying close enough attention!
Stranger: I have ashes.
You: !!!
Stranger: ...
Stranger: There's not much you can do with ashes.
You: "You wait patiently as the fire roars and slowly burns out. You are left with a pile of ash after a few hours."
Stranger: ....yeeeeah.
Stranger: That still doesn't help me much.
You: If I give you another hint you are going to be left with no hands. Would you like another hint?
Stranger: HAHAHA
Stranger: yeah, sure, why not.
You: The mysterious narrarator takes your hands away and whispers these words, "The pile of ashes! Your answer lies in the piles of asheeessss....ashhess...ashess..." (The word ashes echos and fades away).
Stranger: ....
Stranger: This is impromptu, isn't it...?
Stranger: Okay, do I find anything if I sift through the ashes?
You: How are you going to sift through the ashes?
Stranger: With my good leg.
You: You have no hands!
You: You sift through the ashes with your good leg and you see something twinkle in the black dust.
Stranger: Okay, I pick up twinkle-thing with my arm-stubs. What is it?
You: You attempt picking up the twinkling object with your arm-stubs but it slips through your stubby grib and falls back into the ash near other twinkling objects. It appears to be three keys! They must have been stored in the secret compartment in the chair this whole time!
Stranger: ....
Stranger: I'm assuming one of the keys opens the door.
You: You assume one of the keys opens the door! You hear the narrarator in the background, "No shit you dumbass! I can't believe it took you this long to get where you are at!"
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Maybe this 'dumbass' doesn't spend all their time composing text adventures
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