In what has been described as an "optical effect"; the bizarre cloud formation over Moscow has gripped the attention of the world.

Although scientists were quick to point out that this spectacular event was nothing more than a visually interesting variation on fairly normal weather patterns, I have a much better theory: God wants your clicks.

That's right people: God, the once popular Deity and Holy Creator of Life, the Universe, and Everything has seemingly returned to His roots - this time replacing prophets and preachers with Diggs, Tweets, and Google search results.

Realizing that his most recent strategy - trusting Republicans to preach on his behalf - has been losing public mind-share to internet memes such as the Rick Roll, lolcats, or the Star Wars Kid, God has apparently decided to "Kick it Old School" by creating good ol' fashioned miracles and confusing environmental omens - just like back in the day.

This tried-and-true strategy has worked well for God in the past. Most recently, in 2300 BC, God created a media blitz by allowing it to rain for 40 days and 40 nights. This was unfortunately before the advent of Web 2.0, so it is impossible to judge the extent to which this type of event might have generated an internet media buzz.



If the Moscow Halo is any indication however, God seems to be on the right track to propel his Holy Word back into the public eye; while at the same time generating advertising revenue for popular news sites. This creates a feedback loop wherein miracles beget blogs, blogs beget miracles, and so on.

Time will tell whether or not the All Knowing Father can hold up to such internet heavyweights as All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Badger Badger, or even the unstoppable Dancing Baby.

But as the world watches, one thing is perfectly clear: God is back, and he's wearing his O-face.

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